The Floydyssey (Part Three)

This is not a good color for a naked chicken.

(This image is ©Nancy Banks,
and can't be used without her written consent.)

Previously on this blog, Floyd the chicken, wounded and risking cannibalism if she stayed with the other chickens, took up residence in a temporary shelter, where she was plucked alive by a dog no one liked. Alas, her travails are not yet over.

The Floydyssey

Part Three

The next morning when I checked on her,

her skin was green.

Ingrate.

I had invested a lot of effort in saving her life,

and she repaid me by getting gangrene.

Treating gangrene was far beyond my poultry medical skills.

I couldn’t just let her suffer horribly and die slowly,

which meant I’d have to kill her,

after all that we'd been through

together.

(You have to understand

I'm terrible at killing things.

Inept.

Me putting something out of its misery

involves much misery on both sides,

and therefore

does not actually qualify as

stopping the misery.)

Before I put Floyd's head on the block, though,

I called the vet as a last resort.

I got the vet assistant on the line

and told her the whole story.

She said,

in her I’ve heard it all, and chickens with gangrene do not

disturb my calm professionalism voice,

“let me ask the doctor,” and she put me on hold,

with nary even a giggle. 

I was on hold for a very long time—

long enough

for her to repeat the story,

for the vet to collapse in gales of laughter,

and for him to call in all his colleagues

and have her retell the story for them while they all howled with laughter.

We are talking about a chicken here. 

Something you're supposed to eat, not nurse back to health from a state of 

involuntary pluckedness.

When the assistant got back on the line,

her voice was remarkable steady as she

suggested

that perhaps Floyd's skin was green from bruising.

I've never received a doctor's diagnosis

with a greater sense of relief.

Floyd should have been doubly relieved,

but she was a chicken, and she took each thing as it came,

including nakedness

and full-body bruising.