•We have a nice-sized down payment; we're looking for a smaller house and yard—this will be a piece of cake.
• They want HOW MUCH per square foot?! Doesn't anyone in this stupid town know we're in a recession?
•Our old house is WAY nicer than any of these houses.
•Does no one in the modern world understand the actual function of a kitchen? IT DOES NOT BELONG IN THE LIVING ROOM!
•It is PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for the lot size to be smaller than the square footage of the house, and I refuse to look at houses with negative lot sizes.
•I don't do bidding wars.
|What do you MEAN my piles of gold coins will only purchase a GARDEN SHED in this market?|
•Okay, we can look in the suburbs.
•Fine, the yard is microscopic. We'll just send the dogs out in shifts.
•Sigh. I guess we'll just use the kitchen in the way all modern people do and eat out every night.
•If it has a sensible kitchen designed by someone who actually cooks, plus a yard that's at least as large as a spare bedroom, I'll pay over the asking price.
•Oh dear; we looked in the suburbs.
•"Denver is great!" I told K. "There are lots of houses in nice neighborhoods in our price range." Why did I ever open my big mouth? What happened to all those houses?
•When did my modest requirements for shelter, storage, and a blankety-blank wall oven turn into The Impossible Dream?
•Maybe we should just buy a condo.
•We will be in the suburbs. In a 70s-era ranch house. I will have a permanent rash from exposure to hideous architectural design.
•We will pay too much.
•We will have to tear out the kitchen and do a complete remodel.
•The dogs will have a yard the size of a bed sheet.