The Open Road and the Surprises Thereof

          Texas is a surprising place. Or at least Amarillo is. K and I were speeding by there last summer, intent on points way, way west, when we passed a travel plaza with this unlikely name:

I am not making this up. This place exists. I have seen it with my own eyes.
I regret that I did not take a photograph, but I did go to the trouble of typesetting
it for you so you could see how it looks. As always, you can click on it to make it bigger.

          This is one of those things that just rocks you back on your heels even as your eyeballs are sproinging out of your head like a cartoon character. Especially when you spot it on the side of a very large building (well, it would have to be large, wouldn't it, in order to wear a sign like that with all its ginormous letters?) as you're speeding by at possibly a few miles over the speed limit. I thought, for a moment, I was hallucinating, but subsequent googling turned up the plaza's website, complete with a listing of bible study times.  
          I am a sinner and I have been known to use Bad Words and to not take Serious Things seriously and so I'm afraid this travel plaza with its huge and hortative name made me laugh very much. Not so much because I'm a blasphemer (although I'm afraid I am), but because I recognized the fed-up tone of the statement.
          And that got me thinking: what if there were more business that had really long, exasperated names? I decided I would find that both refreshing and funny, and so I came up with some, which I have posted below. If you, dear reader, can come up with more, post a comment and I'll typeset it and post it on a subsequent entry—and perhaps someone will name his travel plaza after it.
          Here are my offerings (you will probably have to click on them to make the small print big enough to read):